Train Driver Jumped the Gun...?

An unexpected stopover in Kings Lynn mid-week meant that I had to catch the train I usually catch but half an hour earlier. I've caught it from Kings Lynn at the same time (05.53) before on many occassions but this time it was different...

As I parked my car in the car park at around 05.48 (5 minutes before my scheduled departure), I heard the familiar sound of a platform attendant blowing his whisltle (ooh er). This whistle blowing usually means that the train is ready for departure, at which point the doors are shut and the train departs. Of course, this wasn't what it meant, as I had checked the train times the night before and my train was definitely 05.53 and it was definitely 05.49 now. I therefore assumed that maybe it was part of a new rigorous train platform attendants collective training schedule, utilising the early mornings to rehearse their whistle blowing with 'live' trains. This can be very dangerous, as any training can be where a mock scenario can cause a live effect…

A mock scenario can cause a live effect indeed… As that is exactly what happened: I briskly walked from my car direct to the platform. This took all of about 20 seconds. The time now was 05.49.30 (ish). My thoughts were with the benefits that early morning training exercises offer; halcyon days came flooding back from when I once served as a Tank Commander in the Army and early mornings were spent tearing around the North German countryside on training exercises…with live ammunition… On this occasion the live ammunition proved to be the 05.53 from Kings Lynn to Kings Cross. As I walked on to the concourse with a spring in my step I was greeted by the platform attendant in full FCC uniform and whistle in mouth. Next to him stood the 05.53, engines running and windows already partially misted by passengers.

I had this immediate flashback of a torturous scenario I had once been in on a 'dry' live-firing tank exercise where I had to 'ghost' another tank as we hirtled down the ranges across the Bergen-Hohne countryside and the other tank fired. My orders were to follow the engagement sequence up until the point of firing: shouting 'bang' instead. Of course to my horror, my gunner had replaced the age-old military ammunition improvisation equipment of 'bang' with the extremely familiar 'put, put, put' of a 7.62mm Chain Gun firing 300 rounds a minute…

And on this occasion, the driver of the 05.53 had done exactly the same thing. As the 'in-training' platform attendant keenly blew his whislte, the driver mistook the training whistle for the real whistle (there's a tone pitch's difference, which only dogs can hear apparently) and shot out of the station quicker than Lewis Hamilton (the fastest man on 4 wheels) shot off the stage after coming second to Chris Hoy (the fastest man on 2 wheels) who won the BBC's Sports Personality of the Year on Saturday night.

Me: I was left amidst the diesel-fumed platform, briefcase in hand, next to the trainee conductor in shock horror… "the 05.53's leaving at 05.50 today!" he exclaimed, whistle still in between his teeth. The clock was 05:49.40… "Apparently so…" I replied…