It's Contageous

It's Contagious

I must warn the local health authorities. And First Capital Connect. The mysterious millennium plus 9 bug struck down the Western half of the UK's rail networks. It was almost as if a well coordinated assault on lines North-West out of London had been executed with precision and accuracy. However, we know that's not what really happened. It was simply down to a very rare strain of the I125 Train Flu, which was supposed to be have been genetically modified in 1998 to prevent further outbreaks.

The rare strain appeared to have spread, by foot or mouth, to the historic City of Ely. This morning's 05:27 to London Kings Cross, a well-preserved specimen, was mysteriously struck down just South of Ely. This had disastrous effects on the 05:53, a vintage, and less popular year, which also appeared to catch the virus. It also meant that the occupants of said specimens had to disembark after a valiant combined attempt of the two specimens to limp on to Cambridge together failed.

I don't normally talk about the 'place' I work; I like to pretend that my office is in Ely but I enjoy a two hour trip to get there everyday, predominantly underground, from Ely. But one of my connecting specimens that was supposed to deliver me to my place of work (in Ely) also failed. Referred to affectionately as the Decidedly Late Railway, it also appeared to have been affected by the I125 Train Flu but hadn't made the effort to try and soldier on. I am starting to get a bit concerned that I am the common denominator. I was feeling a little 'fluey' yesterday although a drop of WD40 made me feel better. But if I haven't been adhering correctly to NHS guidelines on sneezing, I am worried that I have spread the virus up and down the Fen Line.

So if it is me, and not First Capital Connect's maintenance error, that has caused this whole kerfuffle today, I apologise whole heartedly and promise to cover my mouth in future.